My relationship with Ohli
UL.
Individual Interior
"I", as I am, emotions, thoughts, my own influence to create realities in life, how I feel, memories, states of mind, perception, spirituality.
Who am I?, I've spent the last six years of my life travelling the globe, living in other countries and moving freely in the desired direction.
Just a year ago I would not wanted to have a partner to be able to focus on my life projects and have more freedom to meet some personal goals.
It is being a long time that I feel very good about my life and I am proud of the things I do as I do.
I remember the first time I saw Nim and Ohli, it was in a appropriate technologies workshop in Pun Pun our neighboring community.
Who am I?, I've spent the last six years of my life travelling the globe, living in other countries and moving freely in the desired direction.
Just a year ago I would not wanted to have a partner to be able to focus on my life projects and have more freedom to meet some personal goals.
It is being a long time that I feel very good about my life and I am proud of the things I do as I do.
I remember the first time I saw Nim and Ohli, it was in a appropriate technologies workshop in Pun Pun our neighboring community.
Appropriate technologies
workshop
at PunPun
We did not have much time to know each other but there was born a very strong connection between us. Few days after they have left I was still having very deep feelings about them, so I traveled to the capital to go to look for them and give us the opportunity to know better each other.
In my way to Bangkok I had a lots of thought about how could be Ohli in my life, I didn't raised the option of being "step dad" so soon.
Which would be my feelings towards him when so far he was just a stranger which I had nothing but sympathy?. That thoughts started to emerge different emotions on me such as fear from failure and preconceptions from influences from other people experiences.
At that point I realized that I was preparing myself for one of the biggest challenge in my life about unconditional love.
And there I was setting on a train not knowing what would happen, just trusting in life that things do happen for a reason and this little person could be a great friend.
I would not commit if I had not seen likely to be happy.
In my way to Bangkok I had a lots of thought about how could be Ohli in my life, I didn't raised the option of being "step dad" so soon.
Which would be my feelings towards him when so far he was just a stranger which I had nothing but sympathy?. That thoughts started to emerge different emotions on me such as fear from failure and preconceptions from influences from other people experiences.
At that point I realized that I was preparing myself for one of the biggest challenge in my life about unconditional love.
And there I was setting on a train not knowing what would happen, just trusting in life that things do happen for a reason and this little person could be a great friend.
I would not commit if I had not seen likely to be happy.
After few month of knowing each other better I can feel that he plays a very important role in my spiritual side.
I can see in him my own moods and I try to react knowing that many times is like a mirror of myself, reflecting my fears, joy, peace, stress ..., and learn from the positive things of the situation.
Sometimes I miss understand him because I forget that Ohli have so small vision of life, and his rationales are short and extremely confined within the walls of his developing world. I don't like when I' m thinking that some of the behaviors that he have are with intentions that he still not known, been my though more "disturbed" than his "innocent" acts.
Many times my ego and my thoughts of what is or is not correct, good or bad ... can bring me to judging.
I can notice that my feelings toward him do not mix or blend so intense as the ones between he and his mother, I can easier see the situation from outside and be more empathetic.
I can see in him my own moods and I try to react knowing that many times is like a mirror of myself, reflecting my fears, joy, peace, stress ..., and learn from the positive things of the situation.
Sometimes I miss understand him because I forget that Ohli have so small vision of life, and his rationales are short and extremely confined within the walls of his developing world. I don't like when I' m thinking that some of the behaviors that he have are with intentions that he still not known, been my though more "disturbed" than his "innocent" acts.
Many times my ego and my thoughts of what is or is not correct, good or bad ... can bring me to judging.
I can notice that my feelings toward him do not mix or blend so intense as the ones between he and his mother, I can easier see the situation from outside and be more empathetic.
After four months I'm still thinking that our relationship will works but I'm a novice on how to raise a baby, kid... ( a human), I feel I have started an infinite action learning path way, without haven't had nine months to get used to the idea to have a family, in my case the situation has happened suddenly.
I really want that our relationship works in a positively sense improving day by day my feelings towards him.
I think that there are as many realities as beings in this world, and I can choose my desired path.
To continue creating my reality I try to know what I want in every present moment, which my needs and objectives are, agreeing to play within my margins.
And this is just the beginning, every day I can see as regenerated my relationship with this little being, that is changing my life.
I really want that our relationship works in a positively sense improving day by day my feelings towards him.
I think that there are as many realities as beings in this world, and I can choose my desired path.
To continue creating my reality I try to know what I want in every present moment, which my needs and objectives are, agreeing to play within my margins.
And this is just the beginning, every day I can see as regenerated my relationship with this little being, that is changing my life.